Good lord, that sounds like a disease.

"Doctor, the tests results came in. It's... positive."
"Oh no. Let me alert the patient."

"Ma'am, I have some terrible news. I'm sorry, but it's... Barker's Hirsutus."
Wow - that is pretty awesome copy. "Youthifies" - like something from the pen of a Simpson's writer. Love it.

But it's "give your hair the witchery that Barker's Hirsuitus imparts" is pretty cool too. Well, except for the hirsuitus part.
Sound like it'll put hair on her chest. Not exactly the look most ladies are going for, then or now.
It does sound like something indispensable for the 1934 FTM (assuming there were any around then, which I tend to doubt, Marlene Dietrich in slacks notwithstanding).
Man, is it just me, or is this REALLY expensive for the time? A pint would set you back something like $38. Maybe I'm low maintenance, but that's ten times what I spend on a bottle of shampoo or styling product.
I'm such a sucker for hair product ads--I'd have totally bought that back in the day. How could I have resisted something that promised to youthify my appearance?
I'd like to give my hair some witchery. And youthify it too.

Not sure about something named "Barker's Hirsutus" though.