04 August 2011 @ 09:53 pm
Ouch! Nasenformer "Zello" (Zello Noseformer!)  
Okay, here we go!

The illustrated "nose errors" are:
1. Potato Nose  2. Saddle Nose  3. Duckbill Nose  7. Wide Nose
4. Pointy Nose  5. Long Nose  6. Hook Nose  8. Slant Nose
That's vs. the "Greco-Roman Normal Form", of course.


Text:  SUCH NOSE ERRORS and similar will be quite significantly improved with the orthopedic nose former "Zello".  The new and improved Model 20 exceeds all others.  Double-layered padding clings exactly to the anatomical structure of the nose so that the affected nasal cartilage is normal-shaped in a short time.  (Bone deformities are not.)  Most warmly recommended by Royal Court Advisor Dr. G. von Eck, M.D. and other medical authorities.  100,000 "Zello" in use.  Price 5 Marks, 7 Marks, and 10 Marks and a 10% surcharge for a doctor's visit.  (A model or impression is desired.)  Specialist L. M. Baginski, Berlin W. 126, WInterfeldstr.
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
Ronch Ronch Ronch: X-Men: *Finger Waggle*sandoz_iscariot on August 5th, 2011 05:08 am (UTC)
This looks like it came right out of one of the Saw movies.
arcanewinter/arcapelago: xaviersadloreamara on August 5th, 2011 04:22 pm (UTC)
My icon likes your icon.
The Cat Whisperer: WTF_Taillightdubhain on August 5th, 2011 05:22 am (UTC)
If memory serves, they had similar devices for other parts of the male anatomy as well.

Do not ask how I know that, TYVM.
ladytwnksfallconsmate on August 5th, 2011 05:30 am (UTC)
#6... looks exactly like my Italian-Cherokee ex husband's nose. And I think he's handsome, indeed. We're all dissatisfied with ourselves!

And they've given themselves the perfect out, when it didn't work they claim it's because of bone deformities!
corridor7fcorridor7f on August 7th, 2011 06:24 pm (UTC)
Indeed. Many of my family members, including myself, have that slight hook to our noses. I used to hate it, but over the years I've grown to like it.

Roman noses rule!
bernthewitchbernthewitch on August 5th, 2011 05:52 am (UTC)
Kartoffel nase. That has seriously made my day.
Lardvarkcionaudha on August 5th, 2011 06:10 am (UTC)
ONOZ! <---see what I did there? I have a 404 NOSE ERROR!

I have a quite charming Sattel Nase that suits my face. Though I prefer to think of it as a Button Nose. It's perfect for going BOOP!

How do you not end up cross-eyed, wearing that thing? It's like the Opti-Grab.
~\o_charlotterhys on August 5th, 2011 06:20 am (UTC)
You know, when I hear 'potato nose', that is not what I imagine.

Also, that's quite the chin on the 'normal form'.
A Goat with a Warningmeleth on August 5th, 2011 04:03 pm (UTC)
It is a STRONG, ARYAN chin.
mejeep deMeep ferretmejeep on August 5th, 2011 01:32 pm (UTC)
Reminds me of the MAD Magazine song "She Got A Nose Job"

as to the chin in the "normal form", I think Kappy Kyne always wore a chin-strap during the TV show "Fernwood Tonight" for a similar chin-modification!
Philip Newtonpne on August 5th, 2011 02:50 pm (UTC)
I think "Formbezeichnung erwünscht" means "specify which shape you're trying to correct when you order your device"?
Man Writing Slashwrite_light on August 5th, 2011 07:03 pm (UTC)
That's also possible. I was going more with "we want an imprint of your nose so we make the right product for you" but the end is the same. It's one of those contextual oddities (along with ärztliche Anleitung) that is not easy to translate.
Me.cremepuff on August 5th, 2011 03:30 pm (UTC)
I guess I sort of have #6? I don't like my nose, but my husband loves it.
pikkewyntjie: Rileypikkewyntjie on August 5th, 2011 05:17 pm (UTC)
A nose error? I wasn't aware noses were capable of making mistakes except when mine fails to identify that the milk is now the chunky variety before I pour it in my corn flakes. I supposed if you specify you have a Haken Nase, you get special treatment. Someone will be right over to your house. You don't have to get up to open the door; they will let themselves in.

I can't imagine the damage something like this would cause. After a few years, they quit selling these and focused entirely on deviated septum surgeries.
noluck_bostonnoluck_boston on August 5th, 2011 05:33 pm (UTC)
I think I am #3
Ejia Arathejia_arath03 on August 5th, 2011 07:18 pm (UTC)
So that isn't actually a torture device?
bomb dot com: fob patrick with ME :)glass_houses on August 5th, 2011 09:28 pm (UTC)
My nose is superior to the Normalform, tbqh.
bomb dot com: fob patrick and ME again :)glass_houses on August 5th, 2011 09:30 pm (UTC)
Actually I might have #2, though the end doesn't stick up like that. Huh.
Opinyunz. I haz dem.: Dovehannahsarah on August 5th, 2011 11:56 pm (UTC)
Will correcting #6 convince Nazis that you're not a Jew?
suzycatsuzycat on August 6th, 2011 12:37 am (UTC)
Clearly this is the WHOLE IDEA BEHIND IT.
i am a fishsilera on August 7th, 2011 05:04 pm (UTC)
my thoughts exactly!
deborahkla: Marlon Brando Nazideborahkla on August 31st, 2011 01:36 am (UTC)
Mine, too. Freaky-deaky shades of Mengele!
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )