Ouch! Nasenformer "Zello" (Zello Noseformer!)

Okay, here we go!

The illustrated "nose errors" are:
1. Potato Nose  2. Saddle Nose  3. Duckbill Nose  7. Wide Nose
4. Pointy Nose  5. Long Nose  6. Hook Nose  8. Slant Nose
That's vs. the "Greco-Roman Normal Form", of course.


Text:  SUCH NOSE ERRORS and similar will be quite significantly improved with the orthopedic nose former "Zello".  The new and improved Model 20 exceeds all others.  Double-layered padding clings exactly to the anatomical structure of the nose so that the affected nasal cartilage is normal-shaped in a short time.  (Bone deformities are not.)  Most warmly recommended by Royal Court Advisor Dr. G. von Eck, M.D. and other medical authorities.  100,000 "Zello" in use.  Price 5 Marks, 7 Marks, and 10 Marks and a 10% surcharge for a doctor's visit.  (A model or impression is desired.)  Specialist L. M. Baginski, Berlin W. 126, WInterfeldstr.
If memory serves, they had similar devices for other parts of the male anatomy as well.

Do not ask how I know that, TYVM.
#6... looks exactly like my Italian-Cherokee ex husband's nose. And I think he's handsome, indeed. We're all dissatisfied with ourselves!

And they've given themselves the perfect out, when it didn't work they claim it's because of bone deformities!
Indeed. Many of my family members, including myself, have that slight hook to our noses. I used to hate it, but over the years I've grown to like it.

Roman noses rule!
ONOZ! <---see what I did there? I have a 404 NOSE ERROR!

I have a quite charming Sattel Nase that suits my face. Though I prefer to think of it as a Button Nose. It's perfect for going BOOP!

How do you not end up cross-eyed, wearing that thing? It's like the Opti-Grab.
You know, when I hear 'potato nose', that is not what I imagine.

Also, that's quite the chin on the 'normal form'.
I think "Formbezeichnung erwünscht" means "specify which shape you're trying to correct when you order your device"?
That's also possible. I was going more with "we want an imprint of your nose so we make the right product for you" but the end is the same. It's one of those contextual oddities (along with ärztliche Anleitung) that is not easy to translate.
I guess I sort of have #6? I don't like my nose, but my husband loves it.
A nose error? I wasn't aware noses were capable of making mistakes except when mine fails to identify that the milk is now the chunky variety before I pour it in my corn flakes. I supposed if you specify you have a Haken Nase, you get special treatment. Someone will be right over to your house. You don't have to get up to open the door; they will let themselves in.

I can't imagine the damage something like this would cause. After a few years, they quit selling these and focused entirely on deviated septum surgeries.