Poorly named products FTW: Minikins! Slipmates! SUSPANTS!


Blue Swan, 1950

What's with the scary fingers, the body double and the sliced-down-the-middle font?? Is this a horror movie? No, it's a blouse, it's a slip, it's a who cares.  But it comes in Dramatic Red, so points for that.

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vintage+minikins+blue+swan+panty+ad+lingerie

Meet Toothpick Tillie ("toothpickian"), Modelform Millie ("splendiferous"), and Buxom Billie (overly endowed) :D 

In SUSPANTS (same B-Movie font)!

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I think they're the closest thing there to what most women wear most of the time today. Briefish underwear. But in rayon.
why does 'poorly named products' sound like a good contest theme?
I love how in the Suspants ad it says to wear them 'without garters on stockingless occasions'! Stockingless occasions... how risque! XD

"You can hurdle the girdle and look svelte without garter belt when you wear Suspants, the wonder undie."


What the hell were they smoking to come up with that ad copy?
I have a strange suspicion the gender that would wear these was unrelated to the gender that wrote the copy.

That, or I've been watching too much Mad Men.