So he wants a stone statue with off-white balls for teeth and a bird on its head as a wife?
The third one is creepy. It sounds like he wants someone who is cut off from everyone and won't be missed what with the orphan preferred and plain, not wealthy. It just pings my radar.
i can't recall making a love fest tag, but it certainly suits the bill here!!!
I demand only perfection. In return, I might be adequate. What a bargain! Love the reverse psychology (so, so subtle) of the last one.
I demand only perfection. In return, I might be adequate. What a bargain!

A cynical person might make comment along the lines of plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose... but hey, perhaps he was trying to undersell himself as a way to mask the deep, trembling, romanticism of his lonely soul. I mean, you only get poesy that purple from the most ardent Worshippers of Love!

Or, uh, emos.
I'm sure he was trying to sound humble/not a braggart, but it didn't really come off quite that way.
Meh, I'll take the Frenchy. At least he's sincere about wanting me to kick the bucket for my cash.