This is the best worst ad I've seen around here in a while. I love how the cheap ass husband who won't even buy car insurance is somehow going to be happy about expensive new forks.

Personally I would've gone the "cry and deny it" route. WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN???? THE CAR LOOKS *FINE* TO ME! I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER IT HAVING THAT "BUMPER" THING YOU KEEP GOING ON ABOUT.
I'd consider leaving the knives in the drawer that night, ifyouknowwhati'msayin.
Frostfire! Third from left. That's my mother's pattern. She was married the previous year. My folks divorced in 1988, but she got the flatware and she's still using it. Since it's Oneida, she's been able to buy more over the years - I think my brother and I probably pitched a few spoons into the lunchroom trash at school. I wish I'd chosen such a long-lived pattern. We registered at Crate & Barrel and our pattern disappeared shortly after we married and the outside manufacturer stopped making it. Maybe I should pick out some Oneida...