Ads from 1824 North Carolina newspaper

From the Tarboro Free Press found here.

Eagle Hotel Tarboro Free Press 03-26-1824

The Subscriber  . . commodious house . . . patronage  . . . blah, blah, blah. Just get to the part about the booze and food and be sure to point to it so I don't miss it.

Cool font in your Printing=Office logo, Geo. Howard! Good use of variety and maybe some despatch, too. I hope your printing shows more neatness than than the Tarboro Free Press executed with your ad.

Geo Howard Printing Tarboro Free Press 03-26-1824

I also included story about a teenager's death by huffing. Who knew this would have been a problem that long ago? The words "We hope we shall hear no more of these experiments" seem ominous. Sadly, no. Kids will continue to do dumb shit like that well into the future. Although that kid would have been long gone by now anyway, I still felt kind of sad.
I would make a snarky comment about the Darwin Awards or something like that, but whatever gene causes kids to do that kind of thing is still very active in the pool. Also, I have a son almost that age and I don't want to temp fate. You don't even need hazardous chemicals like sulphuric ether lying around either. Just Google "cinnamon challenge" to see what kind of crazy stunt kids are trying now just with common household products. No signs of human evolution in the past 189 years--at least as far as I can tell.
Ok, I suck because I had to look up the word "commodious". I just knew it couldn't have anything to do with commodes, which would make commodious house sound like a really fancy outhouse.

"It ain't a shit room, it's a commodious house." lol
God, how the language has changed. I can hardly make sense of it as it verbosely drifts around from one irrelevant topic to another.
I swear people were paid by the word back then--not just in writing, but in speeches, too. If a speech wasn't at least 2 hours long, people felt cheated.
"The Bar will be furnished with the Best of Liquors, so you won't notice how lousy the Food is."